Hope in the Time of Hell

Holy freaking fuck, the Orange Lord struck.

On Feb. 27, 2026, I awoke with excitement. Hope trumps Hate was scheduled to premiere in an awesome Kaz Rowe video promo! Then I did the same dumb thing I do every morning. I checked the news.

I awoke to an even larger trumpin’ pile of bad news than usual. The Epstein revelations, which I believe prompted the Orange Lord to the distraction of war, had failed to shatter my hope that justice would win. But bombing Iran?! Even I, Starry Lavender, author of the guide to surviving the trumpian regime, found myself sliding into a pit of pitiful despair.

So I went for a hike, and pulled myself from the pit. Nature is totally super grounding.

Near a pine forest, I discovered a baby pine forest! See the spots of green in the background? White pine saplings grew throughout the woods, where the cones had been scattered by wind or animals, to sprout on the floor of the neighboring upper deciduous forest.

Hikes are great and all, but it didn't stop today from happening. On March 4, 2026, I read reports of military commanders instructing officers that the war with Iran is essentially a holy war, approved by God, all in the name of hastening the Rapture. My first instinct was to burn a flag. Instead, I did what I did on the morning of Feb. 27. I took a walk.

Now let’s deal with this. Damn.

The Holy War with Iran - Is This Shit for Fucking Real or What

On March 4, 2026, Mikey Weinstein, Founder and President of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, released a troubling statement on the MRFF website:

“Since the start of the unprovoked American and Israeli war on Iran, this past Saturday morning, the Military Religious Freedom Foundation has been literally inundated with desperate calls for help from military members across all branches, organizations and MOS/AFSC/SFSC designations (military occupational areas). Well over 100 calls have already come in and more keep coming.

These calls have one damn thing in freaking common; our MRFF clients report the unrestricted euphoria of their commanders and command chains as to how this new 'biblically-sanctioned' war is clearly the undeniable sign of the expeditious approach of the fundamentalist Christian 'End Times' as vividly described in the New Testament Book of Revelation.

Many of their commanders are especially delighted with how graphic this battle will be zeroing in on how bloody all of this must become in order to fulfill and be in 100% accordance with fundamentalist Christian end of the world eschatology.”

Check out the website for a full statement, including an anonymous and disturbing description of the events.

Now, let’s clear this up, so we don’t go insane. First of all, these are alleged reports. Who is submitting these? How do we know these anonymous reports are being submitted by actual officers? Would military commanders really act so, um, undisciplined? As a result, it’s easy to see how someone on the right could wave this off as a hoax.

Here’s why it’s more likely not a hoax, unfortunately. The MRFF is rated 96% on charitywatch.com. It's a trustworthy source. Scrolling through the history of the MRFF, it’s apparent the organization has done a lot for military religious freedom since its founding just over 20 years ago. The MRFF’s goal is to uphold the religious freedom as granted in the Constitution; they have fought successfully against proselytizing, discrimination, and propaganda (much of it pro-Christian-Nationalist and anti-Islam). Their actions even led to the firing of a hardcore homophobic “conversion therapy” guy from a military academy. 

Therefore, I don’t think the MRFF would come forward with these new reports if they didn’t believe the reports themselves. Given the organization has been working with these kinds of issues for decades while maintaining a clear record, I have to trust this “holy war” crap may actually be true.

Which is freaking terrifying.

Another reason this feels real: I was hauled to a Baptist megachurch for the first eighteen years of my life. That’s another story. What matters here is that, yes, there are many folks out there who believe passionately in the "End Times." In church, I learned more from the Book of Revelation than from the Gospels. Seriously, some evangelical “Christians” are so obsessed with the Second Coming, it becomes a psychotic delusion. These particularly Rapture-horny Anti-Christians would start a devastating war, if it meant bringing back their homeboy Jesus–who, by the way, would actually endorse peace, if I understand his message from the Gospels correctly. Whatever.

Though Karoline Leavitt would have us believe the primary motivation for the war in Iran is to destroy any possibility of nuclear weapons development, this argument falls flat when we consider that Iran’s facilities were already "obliterated" by the administration, and that the recent negotiations were heading toward a great deal, according to the moderator. Instead of protecting us, the Orange Lord has created a new generation to hate America. 

So . . . what I’m saying is that the Orangie regime has given little substantial evidence for such destabilizing action in the region. As such, this new “holy war” allegation seems just as real as any other rationalization. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if aliens landed and announced we all live in a bizarre evolution sim experiment.

So: Is this war with Iran actually a holy war?

1. MRFF is trustworthy.

2. Some “Christians” in command are Rapture-horny, i.e. psychotic.

3. We are given no other reasons for the war that cannot be reasonably argued against. We are not stupid. (Though Karoline Leavitt, in a press conference, said something about Americans being smart, because smart Americans support and trust the Orange Lord. I think this is such blatant cult language. “Don’t worry, flock, just keep the faith! You’re smart, right? Yes you are! And smart people trust my empty messages! If you question us, you’re part of the Fake News Media . . . you’re the Enemy Within! Be smart! Be scared!!"

Wowie freaking fuck. So how do we handle this? 

1. Curl up and cry.

2. Accept that there are things we don’t know, but look for answers. I am ignorant of what’s truely happening behind the scenes. As a result, I feel helpless. However, I will continue to search for more info.

3. Hope that those with power will do something. I guess we could contact our representatives? Does that work?!

4. Quit the news. Damn it, I can’t, not when it’s this freaking big!  Grr, I feel like the Orange Lord owns my will, because I can’t look away from his reality show! Help!!

5. Be grateful for what we have. While I’m not grateful my governement is wreaking havok and killing people and spurring more conflict, I am grateful that my own home isn’t being bombed. It’s surreal how us Americans go about watching our sports games and eating our fast food, while our country is slaughtering civilians. As a conservative once told me, “I’d rather be on the winning side.” What a fucked-up thing to be grateful for, right? "It would be worse to be them!" I would be more grateful for peace!

6. Donate. This helps me feel better, anyway. I could only afford a small amount, but I gave to Save the Children today. These small contributions make a difference, especially if a lot of people donate, which helps balance all the fucking killing. Wowie, I am swearing a lot today. I mean, fuck, right?

7. Read this BBC article. Guess what? It’s basically self-care, like that whole section in my book! Confide in those you trust. Find your safe space. And hope.

Peace for now,

Starry