FAQ Rules: Only 4 Questions Permitted per Page; No Follow-Ups

 

1. Pronoun?

 

A: He or she or they.

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2. Do you say "they" because you express variant genders,

or because there exists more than one of you behind this?

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A: No follow-up questions! Do you want bonus points or not? 

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New Question 2. Do you really hold an MFA in Creative Writing?

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A: Have you not read my work?

I am clearly a Master of the Fine Art of Creative Writing!

And, yes. I own an expensive piece of paper. Help me pay it off.

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3. I think your website should be lavenderland.com.

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A: My name is perfectly perfect. And the Lavenderland domain is, like, thousands of freaking dollars. And that was not a question.

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Actual Question 3. What is your goal as a writer?

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A. I want people to feel that life is worth living, with some laughs along the way. How did you feel after reading Hope trumps Hate?

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4.  . . . 

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A. You really didn't read my work, did you?

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​4. Who's doing the interview here? What's your favorite color?

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A: I'll assume the former question is rhetorical. As for my favorite color, you think I'm going to say "lavender," don't you?

Honestly, every color is my favorite, given the proper context.

That said, my favorite color is "new," the newest color. Though if you'd read my book, you may have noticed "Double Fire Rainbow,"

which will do until I master astral vision and witness a new color. Hmm. Let's do a deep dive into the full spectrum, starting with—

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5. —So who are you, exactly, really?

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A: I am someone who made it clear that this interview

 would not exceed 4 questions. No bonus points for you!

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